Sometimes, in the course of our lives, we find ourselves saying yes to things, which create tension in us. As we think of them, or about them, we wonder why we keep allowing ourselves to make the same bad decisions. Dwelling on the decisions we make can create a cycle of negative thinking and resist the urge to say no can just keep adding to the tension we are experiencing.

The desire to be successful is essential to most of us. We want to be the best husband, or member of our family, or the best at our job. We want to make the best cakes or be the best mother or wife. Our self-esteem is often dependent on how we think others think about us. Our struggle to achieve great things in our life is often the result of a desire to feel accepted by others as a means of feeling self-accepted.

Even the most self-confident of people have their insecurities about themselves. People with famous faces often resort to facelifts and heavy use of make-up to protect their public image. Being insecure is not a failing, but part of our humanity. When those insecurities begin to drive our decisions and our choices, then we risk making poor decisions and creating inner tension and negative self-talk.

To develop a strong sense of self-acceptance, then it is essential to ask ourselves about the intentions we have in making our decisions and what our motivations are in accepting it. Sometimes the right choices we make, aren’t the best decisions. Instead, they reinforce the cycle of trying to find self-acceptance by first experiencing the acceptance of others.

Taking an inventory of our dreams and strengths is essential to breaking this cycle. Our value and worth aren’t dependent on who others think we are, but in what we think of ourselves. As we get in touch with and enjoy the person we are, we can make life decisions that contribute to and enhance our self-image, and in the process, we find others accept us.

The cycle is reversed when this happens. When we accept ourselves, we begin to learn how to be self-confident and generous in our acceptance of others. We find ourselves being naturally recognised by others for who we are and not for what we do.